Connect the dots...la la..la

My good friend A. met a guy recently on-line and after meeting, and having a connection she never heard from him. So frustrating...the fragile, emotional women that we are take this as rejection and we, as women, do not do well with rejection. Why do we do this? Why can't there be something wrong with the guy? Oh yeah, there was a connection.

I started thinking about the connection. What is this so called connection? You laugh, feel comfortable around each other, you are physically attracted, you have the same values...is this it? This constitutes a connection?

I'm very guarded when it comes to letting people in, so when I first meet someone and I think I have a connection because of all the traits listed above, turns out around the third date, we don't connect at all.

I've always blamed the guy for being physical and judging girls on what they look like before getting to know them. Even though most girls live through emotion, I believe in a way we are just as guilty as the guys. We physically enjoy looking at the other person, we physically watch how they look at us (which turns into emotion), we physically listen as they make us laugh (another turn of emotion) and we physcially watch as they do everything "we" want them to do, to impress us (again, fold into emotion). But really...it's all physcial. Our emotion is selfishly, satisfying that physical moment so we feel good about ourselves, our self-esteem goes up a couple of notches and we don't realize the inside of that good looking man, the one we have a "connection" with, is nothing more than a boost for our ego...not to mention their ego.

So what is connection? I think of connect the dots. You have a series of dots spread about a page, you connect these dots with a pen until you get to the last dot. When all lines are connected it forms an obvious picture. If you miss a line, or go the wrong way the picture is ruined and you have to start over. Dating is like connecting the dots, you connect a couple and then a couple more and right when you make that line to the next dot, you step back and realize this isn't the picture I was wanting at all. Even though it feels right all the way to the last dot. So, I've realized we all need to slow down and connect these dots with precaution, making sure that even though these lines might be crooked, the next dot is really, truly, what is best for the picture we have dreamt of our whole life.

I know one day, my partner (whomever this artist may be) will connect the last dot to me and the picture will perfectly hang in our lives forever. We obviously have very large life size pictures.

Heather K.
picture via: here